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I am back! I took a quick break because…. *drumroll please*… ya girl is now a mom of two now! I must admit that before I had the baby, I was a bit nervous just thinking about it. I mastered finding balance as a mom of one child and heard so many stories from my friends that have two kids. For me it was kind of like facing fear of the unknown. I didn’t know how the new baby’s temperament was going to be, whether or not the baby would sleep well at night, if the baby would be colicky, etc. I feared on how finding balance as a mom of two was going to be!
Changing your family dynamic is hard, no matter the change. Whether you’re moving in with a loved one, getting married, welcoming a pet into your family, adopting a child, or having a baby, these new additions force transitions that can be challenging.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is to not reinvent the wheel. So many people can relate to our experience, no matter the situation, so I strive to gain insight and advice from those around me. Hearing other mom’s tips for transitioning from one child to two is helpful and a great reality check. Their words help me to not only prepare, but also to be ready for this shift. If you have transitioned from one child to two, I would absolutely love to hear your tips.
Here are some of my tips that helped me find balance as a new mom of 2:
I know it will get better over time. Once the newborn stage has passed and the kids can play together, you will be so over the moon! You will all get used to being a family of four. You will figure our new routines. Your older child will adjust, baby will be less dependent, and you’ll get some sleep. It will get better. I promise.
Take care of yourself! This is where I don’t slack. I make sure that I get a shower every day. It may not be first thing in the morning, but I will get a shower at some point in the day. A shower is like a mini spa appointment for me and I feel so good after a nice long hot shower. I make sure my nails are painted and my hair is done. When I am taken care of, I feel better!
Get used to not having your shit together, and let it be OK. Before I had two kids, I was totally on top of things. I always had what I needed in my neatly zipped up little purse. I am never late and I rarely cancel any plans. After I had the baby, I forgot a few zoom calls and canceled more things with ease. It was totally out of my character but all apart of the adjustment.
It’s ok if you can’t get things accomplished on your “To Do” list that day. Nobody will judge you. I am a huge advocate of a to do list and I always cross everything off before I go to bed. Now a days, I may leave a thing or two on the list and not even worry 😉
Make time for you and your partner before the baby comes. Once the new baby arrives, depending on your situation, you may not get a lot of alone time for quite a while. So try to soak it up beforehand. We were able to take a nice trip alone before the baby came.
Get some new books about being an older brother/sister and read them with your child. We got AnnDrew a custom Big sister book that included her name throughout the story and read it to her prior to the new baby coming. So, she was very excited and looking forward to meeting the new baby.
Schedule a break in the day for yourself, even if it’s 15 mins to watch the news, talk to a friend, or read a chapter of a book in the bathroom for some quiet time. You have earned it. It also helps from going insane.
Give yourself some extra time to get ready in the morning because you never know what can happen with two kids. The first time I had to get ready with both kids was hectic lol. One day I had to be somewhere with AnnDrew at 8:15am and Drew had to leave to go handle things for his business. The night prior I was thinking to myself, “it’s ok. You got this. Just wake up a few minutes early to be able to get them both ready.” Maaaannnn…that morning I was running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off lol. Trying to juggle them both and the pop up diaper blow outs that kept eating up my extra time was a sight to see haha. Nonetheless, we did it and made it where we needed to be in time because I woke up earlier to give us extra time.
Know that there will be a transition period for everyone in the house. Someone told me when I had my second daughter to give my older daughter a job or 2 so she felt important. AnnDrew likes to help with diaper time and to try and clam the baby down when she is fussy.
ALWAYS accept help, the first few months may be hard. You will be all consumed with love for 2 little humans and completely lacking sleep. You’ll try and keep up with everything else but make sure that you also take time for yourself and to sit back and enjoy all of the moments. Drew has been awesome and he is very hands on with the baby allowing me to get done what I need to get done.
Lastly, enjoy all the little moments that you can with your family of 4 and take many pictures because the kids love to look and hear stories later about when they were little. Once you find your groove, you will be able to balance it all with ease.
Comment some ways you found balance if you have multiple children?
When you get a chance, take a look at my other post on how to maintain your social life as a new mom. It’s all about balance!