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When you don’t have kids, your social life is a breeze! When you want to go out, you go out. You don’t have to worry about anything other than what you plan to wear. Before I had a daughter, I could get asked about plans last minute and have no worries. Once you have a child, things change. If you do not have a village or a partner that is able to help, things can get tricky. Last minute plans may become a thing of the past. Some parents are also over protective and do not want anyone other than themselves watching their kids, so they do not go out at all. It does become hard trying to maintain relationships when you have a new baby. You become so preoccupied with your new baby, that you begin to forget about your social life.
Luckily for myself, I have a lot of family around so I am able to go out when I want or need to. I think its very important for your own sanity to maintain your relationships. You may be a new mom, but that doesn’t mean your social life has to go out the window. In fact, you need your friends now more than ever. Use these tips to maintain your social life as a you enjoy being a new mommy.
Return Messages
Try to respond to calls, emails and texts. Your friends are reaching out because they care and want to check on you. Your friends are showing they care by reaching out, so do the same for them. They know you’re busy, so keep it short and sweet; they’ll understand. Even if you respond a bit late, thats fine. When the baby goes to sleep, use that time for yourself.
Take a Night Off
No matter what your job is, everyone needs a little bit of time off. A mom is definitely the most important full time job – so why not take some time. Leave the baby with your hubby or your mom, dress up, do your hair, put on makeup and go out — even for just an hour or two. An evening in the real world with adult conversation and no crying baby will rejuvenate your friendships and do a lot for your mental health, as well. Most moms feel a little bit of guilt when they leave their babies behind to go out, but you’ll return rested, refreshed and able to be a better mommy because of it.
Make New Friends
There’s nothing wrong with moms having single friends, but you’ll find that having mommy friends has its own set of benefits. Having friends who are moms means you have someone with whom to trade tips and horror stories. For example, you can discuss favorite diaper brands, ways to get your baby to eat, what to do when she won’t sleep, and so much more — and know that your friend can sympathize. Meet moms at playgroups, storytimes, playgrounds and even the grocery store.
Find Common Ground
Respect the fact that your single friends are, in fact, single. Don’t use all of your time with your single girlfriends talking about poop, puke and sleepless nights. They won’t get it, they may be grossed out, and they’ll probably be bored. Talk about them. Talk about the outside world. Talk about work. Listen. Remember the things that you used to talk about pre-baby, and bring those things back into the conversation. Of course, talking about your new baby is fine; just don’t let it be all you discuss. The time you spend with these friends can be your temporary escape from mommyhood, so use it to your advantage.
Include Them
Your child is a big part of who you are now. If your friends are going to keep being your friends, they must accept that and get used to being around your baby. Think of activities you can do with your baby that your single friend will like, as well, and invite her along. Everyone likes walking around at the zoo or strolling through a mall or museum. Call her up before you do things like this and ask her to join you. You won’t have to give up time with your baby, and you can spend some precious time with your friend. I would bring my baby to brunch dates and that was always fun!
Make Time
You’re tired. You’re busy. Everyone knows. Force yourself to carve out some time to spend with friends and maintain your social life; you’ll be glad you did. Let the house stay dusty for a day or let the laundry pile up. Keeping those friendships intact is more important.
I hope these tips help!
